“Winning my case was not the end, it was just the beginning. It is a victory and a part of me wants to be happy but I can’t be happy because of my children. If I feel happy I feel guilty because I don’t have them with me.
"It took all my strength and emotions to win. I was drained and so tired because every little thing is a fight. But mainly I was at the end of my strength because of my constant thoughts of my children I had to leave behind. My life has gone ahead but my wounds have become deeper all this time.
"I won because I had help. WAR helped me to organise my case to make sure the right information went in to the Home Office. When my lawyer wrote a letter and I wasn’t happy with it, I got WAR’s help to change it. She wanted to put in that my children were dead. I told her I don’t want that down in writing anywhere, I don’t know if my children are dead, I hope with all my heart they aren’t.
"I got to work as a team. Together you have one strong voice. You can’t do it if you are one person. And you need persistence. You need to believe in yourself. You have to say “This is what I went through, this is what I want and this is what I am demanding” despite people saying you have no case.
"The way our cases are decided, it is not even fair. It was the Home Office and the first solicitor that messed up my case but I paid the price over and over. I should have been treated like a victim and it shouldn’t have taken me four years to win.
"I decided to speak publicly partly because I think people should know really what is happening to us. If I didn’t speak out I would have been labelled a bogus asylum seeker because my case would never have been heard.
"To tell you the truth if I had not come to this Centre I would have been on the street, hiding in a corner. I would have disappeared. I was so scared of being detained I lived in dread of a knock on the door, of people coming to take me into detention. After I met this group I could start to live again because I thought “If I get taken there is someone out there to make sure that I come out.”
"I have friends who ask what is so special about the Crossroads Women’s Centre. I say the ladies there believe in you as a person, as an individual and they are interested in how it is affecting you and what your situation is. For the big organisations you are just part of their statistics. The Centre is my home, my other family, it is everything to me. Thank you to people who gave me advice, who gave me tissues, and remedies. I walked from office to office with them, they deserved to be treated better than they were by the people we met. The struggle continues. This is just a place from which to start fighting and I will always be here."
November 2007
[1][1] A Self-help group of women asylum seekers based with us at the
Crossroads Women’s Centre, of which Ms Musabi is a member.
Fantastic News: Peace M found her children
